February 5, 2015

Being Content With The Unknown

In the beginning, after my brain cancer diagnosis, I decided I needed to learn as much as possible about the disease.  I signed up for all sorts of brain cancer information, blogs, forums, etc.  I thought it would help me deal with it, hearing others' stories and experiences.  I quickly realized, however, the opposite held true.  Their stories, the data, and the information terrified me.  All the information overwhelmed me, especially when two pieces of information contradicted. In these first few days, I had allowed brain cancer and all the information to consume my life.  Rather than me determining the power I would allow the cancer, I had instead allowed it to give me fear.  

Then, I gave it up.  I no longer claimed the brain cancer in my life.  Almost like a switch I flipped, I began saying and believing that I was now fine with whatever happened.  I released all the control that I once held so dear.  For the first time since my diagnosis, I was perfectly content with living for years or dying tomorrow.  I had FINALLY given my whole situation over to God- Body, Soul, AND Mind!  

And that's where my break through occurred!  I no longer proclaimed my status as a cancer patient.  Yes, I was going through the process, the chemo, and the motions of a cancer patient.  But mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, I was totally at peace not knowing what the future held.  

That's the place I remain in today! Although I now claim myself as "cancer free," I am completely content knowing that cancer could creep it's way back in at any time.  I don't claim or desire that, but I'm choosing to not worry about the future.  Rather, I live each day to the fullest!  

Is there something in you life that causes you to worry and fret about the unknown?  Maybe it's not cancer and the same situation as mine, but I pray that you find the strength to release it to God.  Use my life and story as hope that you too can overcome anxiety and worry.  Be thankful for the days you do have, rather than fearing the days ahead by trying to figure it all out.  

Ladies, give up control!  Just live life!  :-)