Women's Conference and Adoption

Danielle, Angie, and I went to see Lysa TerKeurst LIVE in Pella, IA today!!  It was such a wonderful day!  Not only did I get to spend time with my bestie and new-found friend, but we were challenged by God's amazing words spoken through Lysa.  I have been leading these ladies through Lysa's book, Unglued, and it has been a challenging study for all of us.  I tend to show all four of the "unglued" tendencies, in my various relationships- exploding and blaming others, exploding and shaming oneself, stuffing and building barriers, and stuffing and collecting retaliation rocks.  Although not much that Lysa spoke about at today's conference was new information (because we have been going through the book already in the past five weeks), one story she told deeply touched me.

Lysa told the story of her adopted son when he still lived in Libya.  Simply put, she shared how her son only had one meal each day, but was asked one day to stand up and say why he was thankful.  He simply was unable to think of anything to be thankful for, because of the conditions he lived in and the dangers he faced.  Instead of professing a thanksgiving, her son stood up and sang a praise song to God, in the midst of his terrible circumstances.  The next day, the orphanage leader asked another boy to stand up and say what he was thankful for and the young child also couldn't think of anything, so he followed Lysa's son's lead and also sang a praise song to God.  Lysa's son joined in.  This happened each day until all of the boys were all standing singing praises to God; on that day, it just so happened that a person from America was visiting the orphanage and found a way for those beautiful-sounding boys to come to America on a tour to raise money for the orphanage.  The boys did do that tour and Lysa and her husband went to one of their concerts; that's how they met the boys that later became their sons.  Now, Lysa's church and community have adopted dozens of boys from that orphanage, changing the future for them and their country.  All this occured because one young boy sang praise songs to God!  Amazing!! 

Re-reading the story how I speak it doesn't come close to how powerful this story really is.  Lysa's words had a profound impact on me today, especially since I have felt for some time now God tugging at my heart to consider adoption.  You see, I have been praying about it and have even researched it online.  I bought a book about it (that book is on my reading list- see yesterday's post)... I have put a great deal of thought into adoption.  But I haven't acted on what I feel is God's quiet nudge.  Travis is open to adoption.  I am very open to adoption.  So, why haven't I taken the next step?   I make excuses.

I feel inadequate; I don't feel like I'm capable.  We don't have enough money to afford it; adoption could cost us over $20,000.  Our house isn't nice enough; it will be inspected and we will fail and get denied.  I'm too busy; I don't have enough time to devote to another child.  The list goes on and on with all the reasons why I feel like we can't adopt a child. 

Today, it hit me that none of those excuses matter to God.  If I come to God with obedience and a willingness to do as He desires, He will provide all those other things.  With His power, he can make wonderful things happen; I just have to be willing to obey Him.  Wow! 

I'm sitting here on my couch bawling like a baby.  I'm scared and nervous, knowing in my heart what God is calling us to do.  But I'm happy and relieved that I have finally come to accept that God will move mountains if I just obey Him.  Please pray for us.  Pray that Travis and I listen, obey, and move.  Pray that God opens doors for our family.  Pray that the right little person come into our lives at the right time. 

Here I am, willing and ready to listen to God's calling for my life...  Let's see what He has in store...

Prayer for Discernment and God's Direction

My best friend, Danielle, and I have recently been talking and praying for God to direct our paths and give us discernment to know where He is leading us.  I have never been great at knowing the difference between what I want for my life and what God is calling me to do.  With the center, we basically just took a leap of faith and ran with it.  It has turned out wonderfully, but prayer has been at the center of it all and we have relied on Christian friends and community members to lift up the organization in their prayers.  Because of how things are working out with it and how many doors have flung open, I think the decision to open FOCC was most certainly willed by God.

But what about in my personal life?  Do I just keep making leaps of faith with every open door?  Do I just trust Travis and Christian friends like Danielle to help me come to a decision?  I am so scared that I will make wrong decisions because of what I want for my life, not necessarily what God wants.  Isaiah 48:17b says "I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go."  Okay Lord... I'm waiting on a sign here!  I know that He teaches me through prayer, daily study of His Word, and through my obedience, but how will I honestly know that it's HIS will?  Please pray!