November 21, 2011

What Adult Daughters Need From Their Moms

1. Only use encouraging words.  No matter how old she gets, what you do and say will always matter.
2. Advise BUT only when asked.  If she wants your wisdom, she will ask.  Otherwise, keep your advice to yourself.
3. She needs the freedom to learn for herself.  Remember, you are done raising her, now is the time to let her learn how to be a wife, mom, friend, employee, and neighbor on her own.  
4. Share in her excitement if she brings you a new idea or is excited about something.  Never tell her the negatives. 
5. Appreciate her as a woman and mother.  Tell her good things that she does.
6. Say no if you don't want to or can't watch your grandkids. Don't feel guilty.  But if you do want to see them, tell her that in a nice way.  Say, "I would really love to spend time with you and your family," instead of "Why haven't you called me?" 
7. Don't be overly critical. Your objective is to express your love, not to make her feel guilty or badly.
8. Unconditionally love her; don't put conditions on that love.
9. The greatest gift you can give her is your approval.  If you start from the basis that you believe in her competence and mothering instincts, you will be given the opportunity to add your two cents when the going gets rough. If your daughter feels competitive with you in any way for the prize of supermotherhood, you are going to be left in the dust, no matter how valid and valuable your advice might be.  Read more on FamilyEducation:
10. Don't clean her house or comment on her messy house.  This only makes her feel like a bad wife and mother.  Again, if she needs help, she will ask. Her house may be messy, but her kids and family have fun!  :)

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